would you say that you are extremely satisfied mostly neither nor unsatisfied dissatisfied or dumb penguin

08-28-08

penguin opinion

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unit forty-five to base we've got him saddam horssein has been captured

08-25-08

captured

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critical mass is an important event man it's like these oil-burning fascists have got to let us share the road you know it's time we hold on lemme go bust out that car's window

08-23-08

critical mass

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how to be cool kinda cool showin' a little boxers not bad pretty cool don't wanna show too much butt very cool exactly 2" of buttock perfect

08-20-08

how to be cool

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the sheriff found the suspect's fuck the police tattoo amusing as his own chest bore the intricate hand lettered message humiliate and mock suspects

08-18-08

fuck the police

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the sinister side of barak obama's capaign showed its face thursday as some of the elderly conservatives across the country simultaneously went into cardiac arrest the deaths were apparently triggered by the realization that george bush's eight year effort to centralize power in the executive branch led directly to the election of the most powerful liberal black man in the nation's history volunteers are still cleaning up their bloated, whale-like bodies with some estimating that the death toll could reach into the thousands

08-16-08

barack obama death toll

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hey may you all right listen my insurance is kinda high right now you think we can just like work this out I'll just pay shit I'm gonna get the yellow license plate for this one you ran right into me dude I already called the coast guard they are on their way

08-13-08

yellow license plate

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no i don't see your dignity under here either how long ago did you start carrying your cell phone in a holster

08-11-08

looking for dignity

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the secretary of defense paused then scanned the room dozens of top-ranked military officers ringed the conference hall with nary a microphone or reporter in site we've got only one hope mr. president he said let's make them fat

08-09-08

military meeting

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in the summer and fall a typical horse will make out form four to eight hours a day

08-07-08

horse makeout

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driver can you unplug your cable modem okay wait 30 seconds plug it back in does that no well shit

08-05-08

cable modem

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sweetest day and administrative professionals day were also on the vandals' hit list but the police arrived before they were able to illustrate the full scope of their hatred

08-03-08

fuck holidays

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son of a bitch ten thousand waffle cones in the city and i divebomb the guy with a double-scoop of fish ice cream

08-01-08

ten thousand waffle cones

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